The reason I run two OS's is not because I'm indecisive, nor because I have trust issues and fear of becoming attached to the point where I mourn the loss of every build version, no its because I need both operating systems just to get shit done. I am not a fair critic though so I will focus on my least favourite operating system, Windows. I'm well aware that I'm not the first person to rant about Windows but I miss the point where I care, the blog is called 'the things I hate' and if I were to skip on this topic it would be like lying to myself, and i already don't trust me and all I and Me need is another argument right now so shut up and listen to me rant you whinny little bitch!
I fist came across Windows in school, not long after the power turd that was Windows 95 came out. Windows 95 was designed to integrate MS-Dos and Windows in one operating system and let me think, did it do that? No. You could only boot one at a time so well done Microsoft, you fucked up at the first hurdle, its nice to see that you set the bar so low for yourselves to ensure success but christ you ignoramus's could have put some effort in.
Two years later they gave us Windows 98, the operating system so amazing that it needed a complete reworking a year later to make the damn thing work properly, that is if it hadn't picked up a virus which it could do quicker than a newborn with a heroin addiction.
Windows Me/Windows 2000 came up next. Remember how the world went into panic when 2000 started looming? Everybody worried that because the date would be zero zero it would cause the computers to magically travel back through time to the birth of Jesus and try and send Mary and Joseph emails about how they really should book a hotel room next time to avoid all the hassle. Well we needn't have worried really because Windows M(istake)e(dition) was about to lay a Cleveland Steamer on the general publics chest by being released unfinished. Some people couldn't even install the damn thing and those lucky enough to be able to found that the 'system restore' feature installed malware for them in a move about as useful as walking you across the street only to shoot you when you get to the other side.
Less than a year passed and Microsoft released XP. XP to this day is the worlds most widely used Operating System. The reason for this is it sort of works, sure its an open door for hackers and virus's and its about a compatible with older programmes as a badgers arse hole is compatible with Sweet Chilli Kettle Chips but these things aside it works.
So did Microsoft take a break and just work on improving its greatest creation, no they longed for the good old days when everybody hated them, so they released...Windows Vista, the system that acted like your dad and told you off for doing everything from re-naming files to farting with a slight air of menace. Again Vista was mega open to attack from Virus's/Malware and demanded system requirements that even Nasa thought were a little steep. All of this for the hefty fee of $225-$400 which people thought was a bit pricey for a shiny reflective coaster. The end result, people continued using XP.
We now have Windows 7, the latest and greatest. And it probably is, I mean lets face facts Microsoft you really can't do much more damage. I for one can't be arsed to get it because I know something about it will piss me off and I really can't take any more beatings from the Microsoft barbarian.
If Windows was my granny I'd have taken her out to the woodshed years ago but I'm so begrudgingly dependent on Windows that I can't do without it. That being said I wrote this entire thing on my iMac and it didn't fuck up once, if I'd opted to do this in Windows I'd probably have had to re-write it twice due to a system failure, travel around the world on a lilac pony, cure cancer, resurrect Bob Hope and defragment my hard drive before being allowed to press the 'Publish Post' button.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment