I Hate: Product Placement

THIS WEEKS BLOG POST IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY COCA~COLA.

Enjoy!

So, I pay the astronomical fee required to see a film in a cinema, sneak into one of those more comfortable seats despite not paying the extra few bones, line up my DIET~COKE with ice and BUTTERKIST popcorn both of which make a film so much more enjoyable and settle down to watch the movie. Great, except I always find it so hard to be sucked into a movie when it bombards me with endless/obvious product placement reminding me of the completely shitty world that I'm in there to forget about.

I really do hate the outside world. Most of the people are either mindless drones or insufferable arseholes hell bent on making every living organisms life a complete and total misery. The weather, no matter what country your in, is undesirable, especially if your british because we crave disappointment and as a result are disappointed if we don't find disappointment. And those of us who are 'lucky' enough to work, do so out of necessity and therefore spend hours on end doing something we loath just to get by. All of this gets me down and being the light minded positive thinker that I am I find joy and happiness in the arts, more so film and television. So what I don't want when I sit down to get my much needed dose of escapism is to be constantly reminded about the world that I hate so very much, and nothing does this more to me than product placement of something like KELLOGG'S FROSTIES because They're grrreat!

Another issue I have with product placement is that when it involves food stuffs its always the worst shit being sold to you. Beers, soft drinks, fast food, crisps/chips, SNICKERS, you name it its gunna' be bad. It just doesn't help all the fat fucks out there who should really be eating healthy and jumping on a tread-mil once in a while instead of dreaming about where their next PUKKA PIE is coming from, and trust me thats what their doing when all this advertising is going on. Wouldn't it be great to see James Bond munching on a bag of dried apricots every once in a while? I for one would find that much more (A) realistic seeing as he's a pretty healthy looking fella, and more (B) comforting, hey if James Bond is eating em' then it must be good. And that also aids my wish not to be dragged back to reality, its win, win. Just like partybingo.com.

As I sit here, sipping my KOPPARBERG (Which truly is a) PREMIUM CIDER I wonder where the world would be without product placement. I'm thinking it would be a better place. People wouldn't all be walking around with the same mobile phones, wearing the same clothes or drinking EVIAN MINERAL WATER in order to LIVE YOUNG. We would all be much more individual and only products that actually are based on quality would be being sold, because thats what would be needed in order to sell it, not just Homer Simpson's endorsement. Of corse if it wasn't for MTV's JACKASS! I wouldn't be sat here wearing QUIKSILVER jeans, Zoo York tee shirts and VANS 'OFF THE WALL' slip on shoes.

Now I'm off to order a PAPA JOHNS pizza, did you know they aim to deliver within thirty minutes?